proverbs 25:28

Okay so I'm trying to do this on my phone. We will see if it works.

I read different proverbs last night. Many times I thought this is what I need to hear when it comes to money and providing for our family. This one really struck me, "like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control." I know keeping our budget is about self control. Not going out to eat. Not buying the girls new clothes they don't need.

Often I use the excuse that I didn't have that I want my girls to have it all. In reality I wasn't mistreated because I didn't have new shoes or new clothes. My grandma did everything to provide for me.

Today I had to call my grandma for money. I just felt so worthless. I'm paying her back friday but I still feel guilty. We need diapers, milk, and gas to get to donnies doctor. The grocery money I had we used for gas and to go to Wichita last week. I used money to buy mother day gifts that our mothers would understand if we did nothing. Its not that I am buying drugs, going gambling, I'm not shoping everyday but its still a problem. I'm still having a problem just keeping our money stretching it from payday to payday.

So reading these proverbs I felt like these are perfect reasons I need to do better. If I pay our bills God will provide food I just need to not take advantage of going out to eat.

I have a praise. Today the girls and I went to the library with my friend Rachel. I would never have guessed I would have such great Christian friends. It was good to talk to her. I'm so thankful for friendships like hers.