Genesis 2 and 3

The bible says he blew into the nostrils and the breath came out making life. Isn't that like CPR. I mean you go in the mouth but on an infant you go to the nose and mouth. I wonder if the person that invented CPR read the bible first. Probably a random question.

Comic note: I'm very thankful we don't have to physically get a rib from our husbands to be married! Although maybe more people would think twice about getting married. Or think twice about divorce.

Serpent is the word for the devil coming into the garden and suggesting Eve eat the fruit. Yesterday at the arboretum a snack was on the rocks by where we feed the turtles. I screamed and jumped! I know the friends I was with thought I was insane but there is a reason why we fear those things! They are evil!

I remember the first time I read "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing.....by the sweat of your brow you will eat your food" Two things that we all complain about or talk about. People are always complaining about their jobs and working to make ends me (me included!!). You tell your war stories of childbirth. It's so common.

We are timid all the time to do things we shouldn't. Or we have been told not to do! Today my example was with Kylie. She was told over and over to stop putting rocks in her mouth. I know she is only 14 months old but I made her go inside and didn't let her go back outside all night. She was so upset. She laid on the floor crying and threw her cup at me. I think it's amazing that Adam and Eve didn't try to get out it. They said this is what happen and were honest.

Praises

I got my tee ball list today. I am excited to coach again. last year I wasn't very excited and just had a bad feeling in my tummy. I thought these poor kids are getting the one person in america that knows nothing about tee ball. But it was actually a lot of fun. All year I have seen the kids from last years team and they come running HI HI HI. It's so neat! I think everyone should coach their kids team at least once.

My grandma said she is feeling okay today not in pain from her surgery. Monday we should know results.

Big Prayer Request

My mother is not any better. They are moving her to my Grandma's this weekend. It's hard to handle for me. I want to say that I'm thinking about her all the time and I want to say that I am calling all the time to check on her but I'm not. I am so scared to get close to her again. I just can't bring myself to be there and comfort her. I have been hitting ignore when she calls. I listen to the voicemail and I just can't call her back. Her words are so weird sounding. If I call her back then I'm opening my heart again and I'm struggling with this. I know what I SHOULD do. I know that it's not christian of me to act this way to anyone let alone my mother. The doctors said she may never recover completely. They want her to keep doing physical and speech therapy but it may never help. I know miracles happen. The last time she saw my girls we were leaving a birthday party and she was late and just showed up. I was rude to her. I told her we had to leave and really we had nothing to get home to we were just tired from being there for a while. The time before that she came to Kirsten and Kylie's birthday. The girls played with her then and they had a good time. She may never get to do that with them. I don't even know how to tell them we are going to visit Grandma Shari but she can't hold you and can't get down on teh floor with you. She can't take you to the barn to see the animals. It just freaks me out. I think my biggest problem is that I'm selfish. I think about all the times she didn't call me all the times she didn't write me for months not even check on me. I have said I forgive her and I have really thought I meant it but I still have this grudge. I don't know how to get that feeling of hurt out of my head. She couldn't be there when I was sick and puking I had to have my Grandma. She couldn't be there when I had to get stitches. Yet I'm supposed to rush to help her?? I am being so selfish. I need to work on this. I really need to work on it. I don't know where to start. I rushed to the hospital because I felt so guilty that if she would have been more serious that day how would I feel if my mom died and I didn't fully forgive her. Now I have time to do this and I am being a 12 year old about it. Please pray for me that I can figure this out before it's to late.

My other prayer is for my Aunt Shawn and Cousin Dustin. Shawn is my mom's sister and she helped raise me. When my mom would go get high or drunk and I was a baby to 7 years old Shawn is the one that kept me safe and kept me fed. Dusty has always been like a little brother. He is leaving Sunday morning for Marine Boot Camp. He feels lead to do this. He wants to grow up he says. He wants to be a man. He goes to California and we won't see him until August. Shawn has another son in middle school. She is so scared of the next chapter in their lives.

sleep

After staying up til 1 last night (just worried about life) then getting up at 5:45 with kylie and just now getting kirsten asleep I was in bed praying and realized I forgot to read the bible today. I keep my phone beside me. I will have to read 2 and 3 tomorrow.

Sorry I didn't even make it a full week. I will make up for it though.

praises

Just got home from donnie's appointment. He does have to have surgery to cut out the part that has the tare. But good news is that it can wait until we have some more money or vacation time. Its really up to his pain level and he says he can live with it right now.

No word on my grandma. I'm assuming no call is good news that the surgery went okay. I'm sure it will take a couple of days to get results.

credit report

Okay, I did some other reading and decided the first step in correcting our spending/budget problem is to check out our credit report. We have no looked at one since 2006. So it's probably time. I'm scared. I know the last time a bank looked it, it wasn't high. Since we filed bankruptcy it went back to zero. So we have to slowly build it up. Which is why most people wait 7 to 8 years before getting a home after a bankruptcy. I really hope we can do it before then.

A family across the street from us is moving! The one I posted about that has the three kids and our kids just love playing with. They are just moving in Hesston but they won't be here after school to play and during the summer to have sprinkler afternoons. I haven't told my children but I'm sure they will be so sad! I am sad!

I am taking Bethany's advice and reading Genesis. I'm going to try to get the first chapter read and make comments as I go....

Right away I noticed it says "there was evening there was morning..the first day" So should our days start in the evening? Are we doing things backwards by starting our day in the morning??

"It was good" every day and there were complete days. This wasn't just "big bang". It's good to read this. Kendal has been asking me questions. Last night the question was," why is Sunday the first day on the calendar but God said the day of rest was the 7th day and Sunday is our day of rest. " At first I looked at her like Who's child are you?? (not that she isn't smart but I just don't think of stuff like that.) I told her well calendars were not made by God but by some man trying to make money and he must of thought it was a good idea at the time. I am really bad at explaining stuff! I had no real answer for her.

If God made all living creatures...then the chicken came before the egg? I'm not trying to be funny. I'm seriously asking. If they just appeared of if they started out like an egg. Maybe I'm thinking to hard or maybe I'm to tired to think clearly right now.

I hope my questions and thoughts are not to elementary.

Praise for tonight: Kendal and Kirsten played so well this afternoon. Raining days or nights can be long and tonight it wasn't. I had to call them up for bedtime. They didn't want to stop coloring together. I asked if I could color with them and they said NO! So I felt a little left out but it was so nice to see them together and enjoying their time not fighting or arguing.

proverbs 25:28

Okay so I'm trying to do this on my phone. We will see if it works.

I read different proverbs last night. Many times I thought this is what I need to hear when it comes to money and providing for our family. This one really struck me, "like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control." I know keeping our budget is about self control. Not going out to eat. Not buying the girls new clothes they don't need.

Often I use the excuse that I didn't have that I want my girls to have it all. In reality I wasn't mistreated because I didn't have new shoes or new clothes. My grandma did everything to provide for me.

Today I had to call my grandma for money. I just felt so worthless. I'm paying her back friday but I still feel guilty. We need diapers, milk, and gas to get to donnies doctor. The grocery money I had we used for gas and to go to Wichita last week. I used money to buy mother day gifts that our mothers would understand if we did nothing. Its not that I am buying drugs, going gambling, I'm not shoping everyday but its still a problem. I'm still having a problem just keeping our money stretching it from payday to payday.

So reading these proverbs I felt like these are perfect reasons I need to do better. If I pay our bills God will provide food I just need to not take advantage of going out to eat.

I have a praise. Today the girls and I went to the library with my friend Rachel. I would never have guessed I would have such great Christian friends. It was good to talk to her. I'm so thankful for friendships like hers.

My First Blog

Last night I read Song of Songs. Basically I got out of it that you shouldn't go looking for love and you shouldn't be tempted by lust that when the time is right it will come to you. But then I don't know if that is right so I'm confused. I had to read the NIV version then go back and read the Message version.

If that is completely wrong don't laugh at me! Seriously! I am so ashamed that I don't know more about the Bible. I should know simple stories. I should know who people are in the different books. Please give me feed back on what you think or know about this.

My prayer requests
I can do a better job with our finances so that we can someday own a home. I looked at house tonight for sale. It wasn't perfect but it would have been for our family. At the end of every payday we have about 100 bucks left for extras. That is for gas, going out to eat, swimming lessons, etc. That money has to come out of that. And it never is enough. I wish we could save that 100 bucks but then I don't know how we would do it either.

The Donnie won't have to surgery and the doctor will have a way to fix his knee without it. It sounds bad but I don't know how we will manage on 250 dollars week. Rent, Car Payments, are more then that a month not to mention diapers and food. We can go without directv or our phone for a couple months if needed. But we can't go without our home or car. We have no savings which goes back to Prayer Request number 1.

My Grandma Norma finds out Wednesday if she has cancer or not.

My Mother is in an adult nursing home type place. She had a stroke and hasn't recovered fully. This scares me because she is only in her 40's. I do not have a close relationship with my Mother but I don't wish her ill health. I wish I could do more for her. But with three kids it's impossible for me to drive to Manhattan and back. Plus going back to prayer request number 1. The cost of gas to go up there.

Praises
Kylie is doing better. Kirsten hasn't had a cough all week. Kendal is healthy. I am healthy and feeling pretty good.

Kendal and Kirsten play with three kids across the street everyday. They are the best of friends. I am so blessed to be able to watch them giggle and run together. They play house, fly kites, and color on the sidewalk. It's just so neat to see them interact. We are so lucky to have their family as neighbors.